Spawn In The USA: 250 reasons why I’m afraid of Americans

Spawn In The USA: 250 reasons why I’m afraid of Americans

And many tragedies were learned. 

Despite the undercurrent of violence that permeates American life—the police killings, the prisons, the mass shootings—the good ole US & A has not seen its cities ravaged by war like many others in the world. 

No, because the Northern American mainland consists of just three sovereign territories it’s geographically isolated from almost all countries on the receiving end of its wretched foreign policy decisions. 

In other words, they generally restrict their human wrecking ball to other continents — be it Truman and Johnson in Asia, Reagan and Obama in Africa, or Bush and Bush in Iraq (yes, I know Iraq’s not a continent. Allow me a touch of artistic licence for familial reasons).

In other words, the 50-state fourth largest country in the world by area operates in a kind of convenient cocoon, where most of its inhabitants have never had to witness the aftermath of a city being bombed to smithereens, in the same way as they’re often oblivious to the stale old piece of toast they’ve become.

No wonder they call (h)Americans the most isolated people in the world. Yet, with a Disneyfied dollop of irony, their crass ‘culture’ — from McDonalds to MAGA, KFC to Super Size Me — is also responsible for some of history’s most horrendous horror stories. And the less we say about their gun laws, healthcare system, crumbling infrastructure, and [insert that will of your own] the better.

A whole quarter-millennium since they declared independence from those colonial cretins the British in 1776 we’ve gone a step further and pinpointed 250 more reasons to hate Americans. Sorry, I mean America.

Is that OK-K-K wid you?

1. Donald Trump
2. Donald Trump
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250. Madonna
     

Steve Pafford