Warning: this post to celebrate the conclusion of the Holy Month of Pride is hammier than a pig farm, but as always, there’s an underlying existential seriousness, so bite me.
But I warn you now….it‘s about GAY STUFF, so if you’re highly offended then I suggest you scroll the fuck on. When is Straight Pride? Oh, how about every fucking day of the year…
June is a key month for many reasons. Not just the midway point of the year and the time of the Summer Solstice, but a plethora of birthday anniversaries, everyone from the two Georges (Michael and Orwell) to Ziggy, Marilyn, Macca and me and my pussy.
It’s also the time of Pride Month, a celebration of diversity that kicked off with Stonewall on the day I entered the world, yet which seems to be under threat in some of the very countries which espoused freedom and liberty for all.
Pride isn’t like a recognised public holiday — but it is an event that takes place all over the globe. By that very definition, staging it at the same time from Southend to Sydney isn’t feasible — so Pride month is just a blanket term for a period of time when gay-related events take place.
Still, if parties and parades reminding you that gay people exist bother you then here’s the solution: stop behaving in ways that justify the need for it. It’s that simple.
On that note, let us cast our collective taste buds back to the recent past, and a funny little island in the North Atlantic called Little Bwitain.
In the summer of 2019, Marks & Spencer, one of the UK’s longest running high street chains, created a new limited edition ‘gay’ sandwich that caused gormless gammons such as the tabloid trash that is Piers Morgan to boil their own heads. What made it even more hilarious was that it contains actual BACON!
Oh my hammy god!
Is it wrong for M&S to celebrate diversity with commerciality?
After all, they’re just acknowledging that they’re an inclusive employer and retailer and won’t refuse to feed LGBT customers, unlike certain establishments that hide behind the monstrous term ‘religious belief’ to justify their discrimination.
The supermarket division released the BLT-plus-guacamole sandwich to raise money for the Albert Kennedy Trust, a charity dedicated to helping homeless LGBT youth.
The double irony in all this? Marks & Spencer is historically of bread-loving Jewish provenance, starting out in the now Putin-enabling pariah autocracy Belarus.
To put this into context, there’s a cure for pork, but there ain’t one for homosexuality.
We’re here, we’re queer. Get used to it, ‘cos we eat food just like you do.
Mama Cass must be choking in her grave.
Steve Pafford
